I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
