Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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