I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
third nipple confirmed
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
