If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
