Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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