WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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