spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
honey bunches of taint.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
