I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
