just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
