In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
