it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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