I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think people are normalizing furries
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
