Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.