The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up