just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
