this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
