Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
