It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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