Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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