Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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