yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
