I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
