If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
