So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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