You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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