I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
