Screwed.edu
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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