So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just want nice things and good sex
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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