hotel room ftw
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
