I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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