Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
