so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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