But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
