Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
