i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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