So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
