i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
