so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
