omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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