oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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