No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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