Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
