True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
