you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
