HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
