i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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