if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
