32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
