I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
