You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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