I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
