Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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