rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
