Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize