the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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