My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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