I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
