So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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