Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
