apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize